After word

When I first started this project I wasn't sure where I was going to. Yes, I knew this was a social experiment run to prove this crazy theory of mine that we all have prejudices that affect us from treating others fairly. After analyzing my experiences and watching my performances I realized that this is bigger than that. Yes, I was treated better when I was passing as a "higher class", however  the point is not to shame those who gave me a better treatment but to invite people to take a look at themselves and their actions and think about their own prejudices. Think about the nature of these judgments and maybe this self-consciousnesses of our actions will allow us to act more humanely to one another. Some times we are too busy doing our own thing, dealing with our own issues that we forget there are others out there who may need more help, and that we are actually capable of doing something to change their lives. I invite you to chose to take action, treat others with decency, give (if you can), and/or become a member of a non-profit organization that helps others. 

P.S. I want to profoundly thank my camera person Amber Nicolai for participating in this project and dedicating so much time of their day to document my performances, as well as Hayley Woods for stepping in as emergency camera person too!.

Performance 4 Diary

                                   

Today I went to Castro dressed up like a stereotypical beautiful woman. I wore leather boots with small high heels, skinny high waist jeans, turtle neck dress shirt, leather jacket, makeup,wig and bop hat. I couldn't perform in the right exact spot Joe played but I was just a few steps from it. When I started analyzing my surroundings I noticed that the was a man covered with a sleeping bag inside a cardboard box a few steps away from me. I did thought about what this meant and how what I was doing would be seen as improper. It was a rivalry, people will have to decided who they want to give their lose change to.

While playing I received the usual stares, smiles and nods. Some people stopped long enough to hear most of my songs too. My first tip was from this man who as he got near me said "Thank you for adding  music to the streets". I also noticed how some people stopped for a fraction of a second in the metaphorical crossroad before walking toward the homeless man instead of me or the other way. I continued to play music, the same repertory I have been playing this past few weeks. A young man not only tipped me but chatted with me "thank you so much, you just made my day by playing one of my favorite songs, it was beautiful", after that he asked my name, gave me his and we shake hands, afterwards he also offered giving me his gloves because it was cold and he was afraid I may hurt my hands, I declined his offer but thanked him.

My last tip was also memorable, it was from man who didn't seem to have much, dirty clothes, messy hair, he was friends with the man next to me. He probably didn't had more than a few dollars and he gave me one. I thanked him but I didn't know how to react to that. I decided I was going to give them both all of my tips. Unfortunately they left without my knowledge and I couldn't give. I still feel a shame for my lack of initiative.

When I am Raquelle and I am playing at Castro I am worth $12 and hour.

http://www.photosnack.com/CynthiaBeltrnIslas/performance4.html

Performance 3 Diary

Today I went to Union Square dressed in rags. I wore old sneakers, sweat pants, an over sized ugly knitted sweater, a dirty denim jacket and a beanie. I walked to the same spot that Raquelle performed a week before, but before performing I decided to sit at the bench and have 2 minutes analyzing my surroundings. There were definitely more people and I wondered if this meant I would get tips. While I was having my philosophical thoughts a couple approached to me and asked me if I believed in God. They gave me a candy cane, a piece of paper with their church information and prayed for me so I could go to heaven when I die. I still don't know how to take it. I do believe it was at their best intentions to give me comfort and salvation in the only way they know. On the other hand I do not believe a prayer would safe me from the cold or starvation if I were to live on the streets, but maybe give me hope to continue.

As I started to play, I noticed 2 things. People recognized my existence immediately after my bow stroked the strings of my violin, but they would also not be comfortable enough to linger and listen to my music or meet my gaze. My first interaction was with a family, the father tipped me and told me that his daughter wanted to hear Titanic. It took me a couple of seconds to remember how that goes, but I eventually played and they seamed pleased, they complimented me, asked me where the nearest bathroom was and left. I also noticed that while playing Titanic two more people tipped me. I thought on how cheesy music is more profitable so I started to play Christmas music.

Overall I my experience was more pleasant than the first time Joe performed. Some people stopped long enough to listen to a music phrase. Some other people even smiled at me and nodded. The time and place of my performance is definitely a big influence on the way people treat me. After about 40 minutes of playing a guard approached me and asked me if I was receiving tips, when I said yes he told me that was not allowed and asked me to leave. He wasn't rude, it seemed like he was just doing his job, but I couldn't help but thinking about how no one tried to kick Raquelle out of there when she was performing.

          

When I am Joe and I play at Union Square I am worth $4 an hour

http://www.photosnack.com/CynthiaBeltrnIslas/performance3.html

Performance 2 Diary

Today I went to Union Square dressed up like a stereotypical beautiful woman. I wore high heels, high-waist skinny jeans, a silk button shirt, leather jacket, makeup and a bop hat. Oh! and a wig with long, straight dark hair. Lets call her Raquelle. People stared at me, as soon as I walked out onto the streets, it wasn't judgement, was it admiration? I don't know. I went to the guitar center first because I wanted to get a mic for my performance, I could tell the difference between the way they treated Raquelle versus the way they usually treat Cynthia. They are generally nice and attentive, but suddenly they became chatty, apparently my fake hair and make up turned me into this more approachable person. I had decided before that Raquelle is a people's person so I didn't minded the conversations, it was actually pretty nice and the people were interesting enough to keep talking to.

Just by walking from the bus stop to the Union Square Plaza I got tired of walking in high heels. I had to adjust my walking, go slower, straighter, I also touched up my make up before performing. Being beautiful is exhausting. I started playing, it actually took a while before people started tipping, but they did. The biggest difference I could tell was that I had reactions right away. People looked at me, and constantly met my gaze and smiled at me courteously.  Some people stopped smiled at me and took photographs and videos of me. Others enjoyed the music for a while and then tipped. I noticed a couple of girls who were sitting across from me and moved to the bank next to me, one of them kept of humming to my music. she also tipped me.

After a good hour of playing guy walked toward me and started passionately moving with my music, I couldn't stop smiling to the way he seemed to enjoy it, he eventually interrupted and told me how much he loved music and how grateful he was for getting to hear me play, he asked me if I could play something else and I did, afterward he thanked me again and he introduced me to his friends, we talked for a while about the meaning and importance of music in our life (they were musicians also) and the even asked me for my number to collaborate with me. It took me a day to realize they would get a good surprise if we ever get together to jam.

When I packed my violin and left, I decided to give the tips away as I was walking to the muni station, $1 per person I saw on the streets. I ran out of money after walking one block.

When I am Raquelle and I play in Union Square I am worth $6 and hour

http://www.photosnack.com/CynthiaBeltrnIslas/performance2.html

Performace 1 Diary

                                           

Today I went to Castro dressed up in rags. I wore ripped sneakers, sweatpants and an old t-shirt, a dirty old military style jacket and a beanie. Lets call him Joe. There was something about this outfit that made me feel different. Inadequate. At first I was trying to do my best to keep on the character, I decided that Joe would be an introvert with self stem problems, and somehow I transformed into this other person. I didn't actually expected to feel like that, maybe the judgmental stares triggered these insecurities I had been trying so hard to bury in the past few years. 

   Actually stares are not the worse thing. Invisibility is also uncomfortable, the less they look at me the more I believe I am not worth to look at. It was a constant fight in between, "please don't look at me for a long time because I look like crap" and "Why aren't you acknowledging my existence?" As I was playing and eyeing people who walked pass and ignored me I realized I was caring too much for what they were doing so I started to focus my attention to my violin. 

   I played for a while until I lost track of time but it felt long enough. I was ready to leave, and as I started to pack my my violin I was thinking in what a waste of time that was. Not a reaction, no one tipped me, no one even looked at me, or that's how I felt. Suddenly a man yelled at me "Play 'Somewhere over the rainbow again!" I turned, smiled and obeyed. As I continued to play I realized that apparently I am not invisible. I finished the piece and the man talked to me from where he was "Thank you, that was beautiful" he said, "Thank you" I replied. 

   After this small conversation I felt inspired enough to play a little longer, also I figured if I played more music he would tip me. He didn't. He just nodded at me in a "I approve" type of way and continued on reading his book. Eventually I stopped, stuck my violin in my bag and walked away.

I looked back just once, hoping to see people looking at me in hope for me to come back and play or something. They didn't. It was as if I was never there.

When I am Joe and play in Castro I am worth $0 an hour

http://www.photosnack.com/CynthiaBeltrnIslas/performance1.html

Complete interview with the artist transcript

Why did you choose the personas you did?

I just feel that if I was one character that fallowed all those gender roles, and she was this perfect looking person in a way, I will get better treatment, and see how much of difference it wold make of that person with myself. The other one is this kind of homeless person. I have been reading a lot about the issue of homeless people in San Francisco, they talk about how just because they are on the streets we tend to not pay attention to them, maybe because we are doing our own thing that we forget they are human beings. I want to have a balance of two contrasting personalities from being completely dehumanized person to getting all of the attention for looking nicer and all of that.

How do you think people will react to each one? what are the predicted differences?
I just think that there may be the possibility that some people may be surprised to see that I actually know how to play and I look the way I look. The other personality where I will be dressing nice, I am going to have the assumption that people will notice me faster than any other of all of my alter egos just for the fact I look nicer.


How would you like people to act?
I would like them to give me a chance on each scenario, after all I did put on violin practice hours for this performance.


Do you think this project will affect you or change you in any way? how?
Yes, it will. because it will either confirm my theory or decline it and that will change my perspective on society and I will either feel my hope for humanity restored or damaged more.


What would you like you audience to take away from this?
I want everyone to take  a moment to look inside themselves and analyze whenever they had used stereotypes to stay away from someone, either they were completely conscious or not. I want to invite them to give people a chance. If you don't want to give your money to every homeless you see, that is fine but be respectful, treat them with dignity, and donate to local organizations that help the homeless to get back up to their feet.


What songs are you playing and why? Do they mean anything to you?
I am playing a couple of classical music one of them is "barcarolle", this music is my specialty and also I know I play more passionate, even if they are not as recognized at least I can transmit some emotion to whoever wants to listen. I also chose a couple of covers of my favorite song, that are also well known and beautiful "somewhere over the rainbow" and "Cant help falling in love with you" I feel I will get a stronger reaction from them, and of course I will play some Christmas music, partially because I want to be somehow obnoxious but also because winter is coming and it is typically expected for performers to play holidays music.


What are your expectations? Do you think people will act hostile towards you?
I don't know, I want to believe that there is good in all people and that they wont treat me like shit just because I look like shit. I want to believe they will be compassionate towards the raggedy me and give me more money, or at least positive vibes.



Do you have an intended audience?
Anyone with the ability of feeling compassion

Art Performance Introduction